Thursday, July 16, 2009
Howdy Rooftoppers! Don't ja just love being called a ROOFTOPPER? There's just something real enjoyable about it, ya feel a part of somethin', don't ja? I can see ya sittin' up there on the house with Mark & Al... you're lookin' good up there, real good! People got their WeddingCakeToppers and their PizzaToppers and MountainToppers, and now there's ROOFTOPPERS, and that's the best kind of TOPPER to be, don't ja think?
Well, reckon that's enuff about the tops of thangs. I gotta get right down to beness now and let you in on an Idea From Ida... that's Me! I'm Ida.
Alright now, hold onto yourselves. Are you holdin'? Okay... Do you cook your own rice? I said, do you cook your own rice?! Well I do, none a that boxed stuff fur me, and I don't own one of those fancy fandangled rice makin' machines neither... don't need anything like that. Ya don't! Now just listen up to how you make the best rice you can make.
Ya get yourself a pot (that's a cookin' pot, ya idiot!), add to that pot (iffin' one more of ya makes me clarify that it's a cookin' pot again, pots are gonna be flyin'!), ight? Continuing... 1 cup a short grain rice, 1-1/2 cups a water, salt to taste, and a tablespoon of vinegar. Yelp, I said vinegar. Why? Well because a little vinegar in your rice will make your rice prettier for one thang and real white lookin', AND when the lids on your pota rice and it's a cookin', the vinegar keeps it all from boilin' over. It's like a cookin' miracle! I promise you, put a bit a vinegar in yer rice and it will NOT boil over on ya, it won't!
Bring the rice to a boil, put it on simmer for 30 minutes. Do NOT... I repeat... DO NOT open the lid! After 30 minutes, leave yer rice be with the lid still on it fur another 5 minutes. THEN take the lid off and fluff it with a fork... the rice... fluff the RICE with a fork, ya dunderhead, not the lid.
Now that is some beautiful rice you'll have there. A course don't furget to make some mouth waterin' gravy to go on that rice or maybe some hot as fire chili. Mmmmmmm, good eatin', goooooood eatin'! I'm warn out now, ya wear me out. Y'all go and make a batch of it and let me know how yer rice cooked up, OKZ. I'm off to bed.
Howdy Rooftoppers! Don't ja just love being called a ROOFTOPPER? There's just something real enjoyable about it, ya feel a part of somethin', don't ja? I can see ya sittin' up there on the house with Mark & Al... you're lookin' good up there, real good! People got their WeddingCakeToppers and their PizzaToppers and MountainToppers, and now there's ROOFTOPPERS, and that's the best kind of TOPPER to be, don't ja think?
Well, reckon that's enuff about the tops of thangs. I gotta get right down to beness now and let you in on an Idea From Ida... that's Me! I'm Ida.
Alright now, hold onto yourselves. Are you holdin'? Okay... Do you cook your own rice? I said, do you cook your own rice?! Well I do, none a that boxed stuff fur me, and I don't own one of those fancy fandangled rice makin' machines neither... don't need anything like that. Ya don't! Now just listen up to how you make the best rice you can make.
Ya get yourself a pot (that's a cookin' pot, ya idiot!), add to that pot (iffin' one more of ya makes me clarify that it's a cookin' pot again, pots are gonna be flyin'!), ight? Continuing... 1 cup a short grain rice, 1-1/2 cups a water, salt to taste, and a tablespoon of vinegar. Yelp, I said vinegar. Why? Well because a little vinegar in your rice will make your rice prettier for one thang and real white lookin', AND when the lids on your pota rice and it's a cookin', the vinegar keeps it all from boilin' over. It's like a cookin' miracle! I promise you, put a bit a vinegar in yer rice and it will NOT boil over on ya, it won't!
Bring the rice to a boil, put it on simmer for 30 minutes. Do NOT... I repeat... DO NOT open the lid! After 30 minutes, leave yer rice be with the lid still on it fur another 5 minutes. THEN take the lid off and fluff it with a fork... the rice... fluff the RICE with a fork, ya dunderhead, not the lid.
Now that is some beautiful rice you'll have there. A course don't furget to make some mouth waterin' gravy to go on that rice or maybe some hot as fire chili. Mmmmmmm, good eatin', goooooood eatin'! I'm warn out now, ya wear me out. Y'all go and make a batch of it and let me know how yer rice cooked up, OKZ. I'm off to bed.
AND, don't furget to enter that contest that Al's got goin'. You could win a ROOFTOPPERS mug!! I entered the contest and I think I got the right answer. I'm real smart with contests. Oh, and yer gonna love readin' Mark's heartwarmin' article 'bout his sweet nephews. I cried. I did.
Y'all come back and see Ida, KZ?
Too bad I don't cook, I'd have to try that. 30 minutes is more of an investment than I'm willing to make, unless it's in the crock-pot. Don't have to watch that, just sit on my big butt all day and it cooks itself. Chicken broth in my instant rice is about as big a risk as I'll take. (and that's just cause I'm too lazy to make gravy) My kids are all great cooks. Not sure where that came from. Is there such thing as a recessive cooking gene? It had to come from somewhere else, they didn't get it from me.
ReplyDeleteMs. Anthropy, yer name sounds like it might be a disease, or maybe a phobia to ants, I don't know. Not meanin' nothin' mean by that at all. You seem like a real nice gal, ya just have a weird name is all, plus ya got those skinny pink legs and that tiny lil dog.
ReplyDeleteWell anyway, child, iffin' yer not inta cookin' then ya should definitely get inta it! There's nuttin' more appealin' to a man than for him to come home and whiff the smell of a huckleberry pie! Trust me, he will be on you like ticks on a june bug! It works ever time! I know fer a fact it works. I was married once... my Odean would NOT leave me alone when he'd get a smell a my berry pies, why he'd come running from the back 40, and lordy don't you know we would...... well... I'm real sorry 'bout that... went too far, I did.
Ms. A, you just bake yourself up a pie and see what happens, I dare ya... I double dog dare ya. Let me know how that goes now, and don't spare nun a them details!
I would apologize fer the questionable remarks I made, but I don't think I have any young uns readin' me. You older uns know zackly what I'm talkin 'bout.
Huh? I'm older and I don't know what you're talking about! Oh yeah, that's because I don't cook! Guess I'll never know. Remind me not to have the husband over when you're baking. Don't want him being tempted with your pies. Good thing he has a diminished sense of smell. Might have to knock him upside the head with that cast iron skillet that never gets used.
ReplyDelete