Tuesday, December 29, 2009

The New Year

2010 is almost here! How many of you are resolutin' on losin' weight again this year? Ha, me too! This year, I wanna "Get Fit". Been doin' some research... lookin' for good ideas to help. Here's what I've found so far. There are 2 focus areas, the Healthy Stuff Focus Area and the Unhealthy Stuff Focus Area.

Healthy Stuff
believing you can do it
working on one-day-at-a-time
making short-term weight loss goals
having a reward system
keeping a food journal
experimenting with lower calorie recipes
eating fruits
whole grains
lean protein
plant-based fats
low-fat dairy/calcium sources
when you fail, you keep trying

Unhealthy Stuff
not planning your meals
skipping meals
emotional eating
drinking sweetened beverages
eating refined grains
saturated/trans fat
not exercising
when you fail, you give up

Here's some helpful ideas to practice:
1. Add veggies - spinach, onions, broccoli, mushrooms, tomatoes - to your scrambled eggs.
2. Serve broth-based veggie soups as an appetizer, and add snow peas, onions, broccoli florets.
3. Cut your rice or pasta portion in half and replace the starch with asparagus, zucchini, etc.
4. Use romaine leaves as wraps, with chicken or tuna inside.
5. Before dinner, serve a salad with tons of veggies added, such as carrots, grape tomatoes and string beans.

FACTOID: Jumbo food packages prompt you to eat more. In one study, adults give one pound M&M bags scarfed down 264 more calories than those given half-pound bags!
FACTOID: A chocolate chip cookie at Starbucks has 540 calories, 10 more calories than a McDonald's Quarter Pounder with Cheese! Holy canolees!!

"I keep trying to lose weight but it keeps finding me!"
"Most people lose weight by having intimate dinners for two... alone."
If you have any helpful ideas for gettin' fit,
such as ways to think positive, yummy recipes,
or fun exercises, please send 'em in!
Can't wait to hear for all of you!! LOVE Y'ALL!!

b b b b b b b b b b b

Monday, December 21, 2009


Merry Christmas Y'all!

CRUST:2 cups all-purpose flour 1/3 cup sugar3/4 cup butter or margarine, softened1/4 teaspoon salt
FILLING:4 eggs, lightly beaten1 1/2 cups light or dark corn syrup1 1/2 cups sugar3 tablespoons butter or margarine, melted1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract2 1/2 cups chopped pecansIn a large mixing bowl, blend together flour, sugar, butter and salt until mixture resembles coarse crumbs. Press firmly and evenly into a greased 15-in. x 10-in. x 1-in baking pan. Bake at 350 degrees F for 20 minutes. Meanwhile, in another bowl, combine first five filling ingredients. Stir in pecans. Spread evenly over hot crust. Bake at 350 degrees F for 25-30 minutes or until set. Cool on a wire rack.

The time is coming fast, so you don't have forever to come up with decorating ideas. Here's a quick & simple one for ya...
Get yourself a plate, put a large candy cane candle into a vase and place the vace on the plate. Then, encircle the rim of the vase with real candy canes that your guests can eat! Like I said, quick & easy!

A good time is coming, I wish it were here,

The very best time in the whole of the year;

I'm counting each day on my fingers and thumbs-

The weeks that must pass before Santa Claus comes.

Then when the first snowflakes begin to come down,

And the wind whistles sharp and the branches are brown,

I'll not mind the cold, though my fingers it numbs,

For it brings the time nearer when Santa Claus comes.

~Author Unknown~

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Idea's on how to pick the best Christmas tree...

>To select a fresh tree, gently hold a branch between your thumb and forefinger and pull it toward you. Very few needles should come off in your hand if the tree is fresh. Or shake or bounce the tree on its stump. You should not see a lot of green needles fall to the ground, though interior brown ones probably will.
>If you won't be decorating the tree right away, put it in a bucket of water on the north side of the house.
>When you're ready to bring it in and decorate it, cut an inch off the trunk and immediately put the tree in water in the tree stand. Never let it be out of water after this point.
>Keep it in as cool a spot as possible in the house. Avoid areas near fireplaces, wood-burning stoves, heat ducts and television sets.
>Make sure the tree stand's reservoir stays filled with water. If it does lose enough water that the bottom of the trunk is exposed, the trunk will need to be recut.

[Adding aspirins, copper pennies, soda pop, sugar and bleach to the water have not been shown to prolong the life of a tree.]

BLONDE JOKE: There were two blondes who went deep into the frozen woods searching for a Christmas tree. After hours of subzero temperatures a few close calls with hungry wolves, one blonde turned to the other and said, "I'm chopping down the next tree I see. I don't care whether it's decorated or not!"

A CHRISTMAS QUOTE: There's nothing sadder in the world than to wake up Christmas morning and not be a kid. -- Erma Bomback --

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Christmas is on it's way

Well my sweet Rooftoppers, Christmas is on its way. Seems the older I get, the faster Christmas comes around. Throughout the month of December, I'll have some decoratin' ideas, recipes, funny jokes and Merry Christmas wishes for all of our readers.
Firstly, let me start by sayin', to everyone who is readin' my words... I love you. I appreciate you takin' the time to read my blog and for readin' Big Al's blogs and for readin' Mark's articles. This time a year makes me a nicer person, think it makes us all nicer. To me, that's the best thing about these end of the year Holidays, it makes most of us kinder to our fellow man/woman/teenager/kid.

How to make a BUTTON WREATH:
Materials needed: assorted buttons, cardboard, metallic gold spray paint, multi purpose cement glue

1. Cut approximately 3 1/2" inch diameter circle from cardboard.
2. Spray paint the front and back of cardboard circle gold.
3. Use cement glue to arrange buttons on the cardboard making sure to cover cardboard edges. Arrange larger plain button on the bottom and place unique, colored buttons on top.
4. Once glue has dried, display on a small plate stand or attach ribbon and use as an ormanment or decoration.
TIP: Have lots of different colored buttons? Use metallic gold spray paint to spray paint them for this project.
*In Denmark, they put hot porridge outside for the pixies on Christmas Eve.
*The first gingerbread man is credited to the court of Queen Elizabeth I, who favored important visitors with charming gingerbread likenesses of themselves.
10. The Junior Electrician Outlet Panel
9. Hasbro's Slippery Steps
8. Black & Decker Silly Driller
7. Roof Hanger Paratrooper Outfit
6. Remco's Pocket Hive
5. Traffic Tag
4. Will It Burn? From Parker Brothers
3. Chimney Explorer
2. My First Ferret Farm
1. Ooh - You're Blue!, the Hold-Your-Breath Game
[from David Letterman's Tonight Show]

Monday, November 23, 2009


What are the feathers on a turkey's wings called?
Turkey feathers

What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?
The turkey trot

Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Yes - a building can't jump at all

What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus?
Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving

How can you make a turkey float?
You need 2 scoops of ice cream, some root beer, and a turkey

What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
Plymouth Rock

Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
The outside

Why did they let the turkey join the band?
Because he had the drumsticks

Why did the police arrest the turkey?
They suspected it of fowl play


Thursday, November 12, 2009

NOVEMBER - Turkey Balloon

What a beautiful month November is. Believe it’s my favorite month of the year. Just crazy about the leaves turnin’ bright, beautiful colors, I love wearin’ my comfy, warm jam-ees at night, eatin’ till I’m sick at Thanksgiving, and also excited about Christmas bein’ on its way. Yelp, November is my favorite.

Thought I’d post directions on how to make yourself a genuine balloon turkey! I found this on the internet, thought it’s either the cutest thing ever, or as stupid as it looks… I couldn’t decide. You be the judge.

You’ll need:
2 round red balloons
1 oblong yellow balloon
Scissors and cardboard
Masking tape
Acrylic paint and brushes
1. Blow up a red balloon and knot off the end to form the turkey’s body.
2. To make the head, blow up the yellow balloon about halfway so that there’s an uninflated “nose” at one end, then knot off the balloon. Tie an uninflated red balloon to the nose to make the turkey’s wattle.
3. Attach the knotted-off ends of the body and the head together by wrapping a rubber band around them.
4. Cut the feet out of one piece of cardboard and attach them to the bottom of the turkey with masking tape. Now dress your bird, painting on a face and feathers.
5. You could make several of these balloon turkey birds and see who can keep theirs off the floor the longest.

If you have ideas or recipes for Thanksgiving, be they cute or stupid, please send ‘em in… OKZ?


Monday, November 9, 2009

I'm a bit shook up...

I'm sorry, but I'm a wee bit upset this evening, and I'm not gonna feel better about it until I get what's botherin' me off my chest. You see, I was sittin' watchin' TV this evenin', it was around about 8:00pm or so and pitch black outside. Suddenly here comes a heavy knock on my door. Of course I jumped, cause I sure wasn't expectin' it, and I'm a jumpy person anyway.
I muted the TV and asked, "Who's there?" And I heard a man's mumbled voice, but didn't understand what he said. I said louder, "I didn't here you. Who's there?" And he said, "I'd like to talk to you about your light bill."
Can you imagine... can you just imagine someone comin' to your house late at night, knocking on your door and expectin' you to open it? Oh my word! I almost called the police! No sane person in this age would go door to door late in the evening trying to sell somethin', would they? Well, unless he was a poor, hardworkin' man who needed money really badly, and this was the only way he could make it, but for heavens sake, what a crazy way to make money!
After he said he wanted to talk to me about my light bill I said very loudly with determined indignation, "NO, I DON'T THINK SO!" Then he yelled back at me, "OKAY!" and walked away from my house.
I turned the lights on outside and immediately called my friend Kathy from down the street to ask if she saw the man, and she said yes she did and that he was talkin' to one of the neighbors about his light bill. Well thank the lord for my friend Kathy, cause if she had said no she didn't see the guy, then I was gonna call the police and there was gonna be heck to pay, maybe, I don't know.
I'm sorry dears, that your Ida doesn't have a blog this time about how to make somethin' good to eat or some funny little sayings and such. This incident really shook me up tonight, and I just wanted to remind all you Rooftoppers out there to be careful. Watch out for yourselves, and for your families, and don't ever open the door for anyone you don't know. And you be sure and get to know your neighbors and get their phone numbers and put 'em in your phone. We need to all watch out for each other.
I'm a bit shook up about the whole thing, and just your listenin' to me has helped to calm me down some. Sure hope I can sleep. I should probably get myself a dog, I'm thinkin'.

Until next time, under more calm and pleasant circumstances... OKZ.


Thursday, November 5, 2009

Thank You Cora Beth

Did any of you try my chili? After I blogged it, I had to fix a batch of it for myself... it lasts for a good 5 meals. Mmmmmm, I just love it!

I know all of you Rooftoppers are as fond of Cora Beth ("Pink Legs") as I am... she's a hoot & a half! Just love it when she forwards funny little sayings, she sure keeps me laughin'! Thought I'd publish some of 'em now. Get ready to chuckle!!!!!!!

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

6. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

7. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

8. Bad decisions make good stories.

9. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

10. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

11. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Darn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

12. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

13. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

14. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the heck do I respond to that?

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.




Monday, November 2, 2009

It's November!

Well how about that Halloween, did y'all have fun? Was there a party? Did y'all invite me? The answer to that last one is "no". I sat at home and ate lightly salted cashews while watchin' "Eden Log", one of the worst movies ever made in the history of movie makin'! Oh my word, I kept waitin' for it to get better, but it didn't. At the beginnin' of it, there was 30 minutes of a light flashin' on and off and on and off, whilst this idiot was slowly pullin' himself out of the mud! I thought I was gonna lose my eyesight... and my mine along with it. And yes, I know Mr. Big Al, I don't have much mind to loose. Ha. Ha.
It's November! Yelp, and it's gettin' chilly. I love chilly... and I love chili... love it even when it's hot outside. I'd like to start November off with givin' all you 3 faithful readers out there a wonderful present. I'm gonna tell ya how to make my great tasting, heart warmin' Ida's Chili! I know, I know. I'm excited too! Here goes:

olive oil for sautein'
1 green bell pepper, chopped
1 onion, chopped
1 chicken breast, cooked and shredded
1 can of Bush Chili Mix
1 can of Bush Pinto Beans
1 can of Campbell's Tomato Soup
1 can of Ro-Tel
Heat olive oil, add bell pepper and onion and saute. Then add your shredded chicken and all the other things on the list and simmer for awhile.

You can Pour Ida's Chile over Fritos or crumbled up crackers, roll it up in a torilla, spoon a bowl full of it and sprinkle shredded cheddar cheese and chopped green onions, break up some cornbread in it. It's delicious. I know for a fact though that Mr. Mark Hayter won't be havin' any of it, cause he's a fancy pantz boy who can't eat hot food. So he should just leave out the Ro-Tel and maybe add a can of chopped tomatoes instead. What a wuss.

Just thought I'd start you all off on a good foot
this November with somethin' great to eat.
If you've got a better chili recipe,
I'd like to hear about it.

Send in them recipes NOW... OKZ.


Friday, October 30, 2009


"I love Halloween.
It's the only time I can be myself."

Y'all have a safe and Happy Halloween!
When you approach a house, yell "Trick or Treat!"
and after they give you candy,
don't forget to say "Thank You!"
You know Ida loves you ALL... OKZ.

Monday, October 26, 2009



How to make a Styrofoam Spider -- Take a large styrofoam ball – paint it black. Let it dry. Once dry, glue two googly eyes on it. Stick black pipe cleaners into the styrofoam for the legs, and bend 'em like spider legs. Make lots of 'em and hang 'em from the ceilin' or outside from a tree!

What is a spiders favorite TV show? The newly web game!

What did the spider order at McDonald's? A Big Mac and flies.

Why was the skeleton afraid to cross the road? Because it had no guts.

Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers? No, they eat the fingers separately. Ha! Ha! Ha! Hee! Hee!

Decorate Tables: Place a white tablecloth on tables and spinkle with Halloween confetti, which can be bought a the craft store (tiny cats, pumpkins, ghosts, etc.)

Shower Curtain: Buy a white shower curtain, and paint an elderly woman's figure (shadowed), with her holding a knife in her hand (as shown), for a psycho effect in the restroom!

Tin Can Luminarias: Save your veggie tin cans, clean 'em well, poke holes of pumpkins or bats or ghosts. Paint the inside of the can a light color and paint the outside of the can the color according to the picture punched (example: pumpkin = paint orange). Make holes in side of can to place a wire hanger. Then put a voltive in the can and hang from a branch which you have securely place in a heavy pot. Light the candles, it's a beautiful effect!!
What are you goin' to be for Halloween?
Are you goin' to a big party?
Tell Ida all about it... OKZ?

Tuesday, October 20, 2009


If you're plannin'
a Halloween Party
this year,
I've got some FUN ideas for you...

Halloween Surprise Tubes
Items needed:
Toilet paper roll tubes (If you're gonna do this, you'd better start savin' them toilet paper tubes NOW!)
Halloween wrapping paper
Tape or glue
Ribbon in Halloween colors
Small candies, small novelty items, confetti
These are real easy to make! First, measure and cut your paper so that it wraps around the toilet paper tube (with a little extra for gluing/taping) and that the length extends about 2" from each end. Glue the paper to the tube and tie one end closed with some ribbon. Fill the tube with candy; novelty items such as spider or ghost rings, stickers, etc.; and add some confetti to the mix. Tie up the open end with ribbon. Using scissors, fringe the ends and you're done. If you like, you could stick labels on each tube that are personalized with each child's name. Cool, huh?!!

A Fun Idea -- Crack open a walnut shell carefully without crackin' the shell. Clean out the nut meat from the shell. Write funny fortunes, happy thoughts or good wishes on strips of paper, then enclose the fortune in the shell. This is also coo, huh?!!

Mask Making Contest – Set up a large workin' space with scissors, construction paper, glue, tape, colors, markers, cotton balls, stickers, and give each player a large paper sack. Give them a time limit to make the best Halloween mask. Have 'em put the masks over their heads, and give the winner a prize! Eventually, let 'em take the masks off, cause it'll get hot in there.

Pass The Pumpkin -- Have people sit in a circle and pass a small pumpkin around, while scary music is playin'. When the music stops, the person with the pumpkin is out. Continue until there's only one person left, and give the winner a prize!
Build A Scarecrow -- Form groups and have a variety of old clothes, pillowcases for heads, markers and newspaper. Groups have 20 minutes to create. Give prizes to the scariest or funniest.
Other Games:
Bobbing for apples!
Pin the tail on the black cat!
Pin a face on a pumpkin while blindfolded, to make a Jack-O-Lantern!
Headline: "Due to strike, grave-digging at cemetery will be done by skeleton crews". Ha! Ha! Hee!
Bloodshed - where the Red Cross keeps the plasma. Hardy Har Har!
One dark night two men were walking home after a party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows.
Tremblin' with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones."Holy cow, Mister," one of 'em said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death we thought you was a ghost! What are you doin' workin' here so late at night?""Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"
[Now THAT is SCARY!]

Do you have any cool, funny, scary ideas
for a Halloween Party?
Send 'em to Ida... OKZ!!

Friday, October 16, 2009


Rooftoppers, I found some really scary stuff about vampires. You need to read this in case you might be a vampire or maybe a vampire might be tryin' to get at you. I got this here stuff off the Internet, so you know it's gotta be true...

Identifying vampires -- Many elaborate rituals were used to identify a vampire. One method of finding a vampire's grave involved leading a virgin boy through a graveyard or church grounds on a virgin stallion, the horse would supposedly balk at the grave in question. Generally a black horse was required, though in Albania it should be white. Holes appearing in the earth over a grave were taken as a sign of vampirism. Corpses thought to be vampires were generally described as having a healthier appearance than expected, plump and showing little or no signs of decomposition. In some cases, when suspected graves were opened, villagers even described the corpse as having fresh blood from a victim all over its face. Evidence that a vampire was active in a given locality included death of cattle, sheep, relatives or neighbours. Folkloric vampires could also make their presence felt by engaging in minor poltergeist-like activity, such as hurling stones on roofs or moving household objects, and pressing on people in their sleep.

What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
A stake sandwich

What does a vampire fear most?
Tooth decay

What's it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It's a pain in the neck.

How can you tell when Dracula has a cold?
When he starts coffin.

What type of dogs do vampires like best?

Methods of destroying vampires -- with staking the most commonly cited method, particularly in southern Slavic cultures. Ash was the preferred wood in Russia and the Baltic states, or hawthorn in Serbia, with a record of oak in Silesia. Potential vampires were most often staked through the heart, though the mouth was targeted in Russia and northern Germany and the stomach in north-eastern Serbia. Piercing the skin of the chest was a way of "deflating" the bloated vampire; this is similar to the act of burying sharp objects, such as sickles, in with the corpse, so that they may penetrate the skin if the body bloats sufficiently while transforming into a revenant. Decapitation was the preferred method in German and western Salvic areas, with the head buried between the feet, behind the buttocks or away from the body. This act was seen as a way of hastening the departure of the soul, which in some cultures, was said to linger in the corpse. The vampire's head, body, or clothes could also be spiked and pinned to the earth to prevent rising. Gypsies drove steel or iron needles into a corpse's heart and placed bits of steel in the mouth, over the eyes, ears and between the fingers at the time of burial. They also placed hawthorn in the corpse's sock or drove a hawthorn stake through the legs. In a 16th-century burial near Venice, a brick forced into the mouth of a female corpse has been interpreted as a vampire-slaying ritual by the archaeologists who discovered it in 2006. Further measures included pouring boiling water over the grave or complete incineration of the body. In the Balkans a vampire could also be killed by being shot or drowned, by repeating the funeral service, by sprinkling holy water on the body, or by exorcism. In Romania garlic could be placed in the mouth, and as recently as the 19th century, the precaution of shooting a bullet through the coffin was taken. For resistant cases, the body was dismembered and the pieces burned, mixed with water, and administered to family members as a cure. In Saxon regions of Germany, a lemon was placed in the mouth of suspected vampires.
Write in and tell us
what you think about vampires.
And, if you ARE a vampire,
then let us know that too, OKZ?

Monday, October 12, 2009



What does a ghost get when it falls and hurts its knee?
A boo boo.


What you will need to make a Halloween costume like Charlie Brown's:
1. a white sheet
2. a pair of scissors

How to make the costume:
1. cut out circles all over the sheet, so that it looks like the picture posted
2. put the sheet over your head and wear it

What is a baby ghost's favorite game?

The 5 most common places where

ghosts are seen:
1. looking out windows
2. on staircases
3. in hallways
4. sitting in chairs
5. in mirrors

What kind of car does a ghost drive?
A Boo-ick

1. Pets react to something others can't see, such as growling in thin air, or not wanting to go into a certain room.
2. People that live in the house are having nightmares.
3. Items are mysteriously misplaced, and replaced just as mysteriously.
4. Electrical appliances turn on and off and toilets flush by themselves.
5. Unexplained cold spots and cold drafts are felt.
6. Footsteps, raps on the wall and voices are heard.

What did the mother ghost say to her son?
Don't spook unless you are spooken to.

Why did the ghost pick his nose?
Because he had boo-gers.

What kind of spirits serve food on a plane?
Airline ghostesses

Where do ghosts go swimming?
in The Dead Sea

How about a ghost riddle or joke?

Thursday, October 8, 2009



How do you mend a broken pumpkin?
With a pumpkin patch!

Carvin' pumpkin tip....After you have carved your pumpkin, wipe Vaseline along the cut edges - this will help preserve your pumpkin.

Decorate Peppers....For somethin' different carve green peppers as jack-o-lanterns! You can also carve red or yellow ones.

Why didn't the pumpkin cross the road?
Cause he didn't have any legs! Duh.

Tip - When pickin' a good pumpkin, select an unbruised one. Make sure the pumpkin has a flat bottom so it sits upright by itself.

Fact - The Native Americans called pumpkins "isquotersquash."

What do you get when you divide the circumferance of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi

Pumpkin Pie - The origin of pumpkin pie is thought to have occurred when the colonists sliced off the pumpkin top, removed the seeds, and then filled it with milk, spices and honey. The pumpkin was then baked in the hot ashes of a dying fire.

How big can a pumpkin get? The largest pumpkin grown in the United States in 2007 was 1689 lbs!!!

What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?

The Pilgrims - Many of the early settlers might have died from starvation had it not been for pumpkins. The followin' poem is a testament to the Pilgrims dependence upon pumpkins for food:
"For pottage and puddings and custards and pies
Our pumpkins and parsnips are common supplies,
We have pumpkins at morning and pumpkins at noon,
If it were not for pumpkins we should be undoon."
[Pilgrim verse, circa 1633]
Undoon? They sure had a funny way of speakin' back then... at least it rhymes with noon.
Pumpkin Capital - Did you know that the "pumpkin capital" of the world is Morton, Illinois? This self-proclaimed pumpkin capital is where you'll find the home of the Libby corporation's pumpkin industry.

Native Americans - Flattened strips of pumpkins, dried them and made mats. Pumpkins were formerly considered a remedy for freckles and snakebites.

What do you call an obnoxious pumpkin?
A jerk-o-lantern
Hey Rooftoppers!
Can you come up with any other important things
that we need to know about pumpkins?

Monday, October 5, 2009

How to Make Tombstones for Halloween

This is such an easy way to decorate your yard for Halloween, if ya do that kind of thing. Ya get some thick syrafoam and cut a tombstone shape out of it. Use a knife for the cuttin', you'll hate the sound, I do. Then, write names on the styrafoam with painters tape. Spray the syrafoam with gray spray paint, sprayin' as many coats as needed. After the paint has dried, pull the tape off and there you have your tombstone with a name on it. Shove some sticks up the bottom of the marker and plant that sucker in the ground. How easy is that?!

I found some really cool names you can put on the tombstones. Some of 'em made me laugh out loud!!

Anita Hart
Myra Mains
Ben Better
Eileen Dover Clift
Ben Dover
Izzy Stillalive
Roman D. Earth
Justin Pieces
Frank N. Beans
Anita Manda Cook
Bill M. Lader
Will Knott Rest
Helen Back

And entire family of Rott's:
Fester N. Rott
Diane Rott
Willy Rott

Can you think of other funny tombstone names?

Send 'em in to Rooftop!!

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Uses for Rubber Bands

You know how people send Ms Heloise hints
on how to use things? Well, I thought I'd give
you a few ways you can use RUBBER BANDS,
and then you rooftoppers can send in your own
thoughts on what to do with 'em...
now let's keep this clean, OKZ.

1. Use them to open jars -- Wrap a rubber band several times around the lid of a jar and it will give you somethin' to grip to make openin' easier.
2. Use 'em for decoratin' Easter eggs -- put bands around a hard-boiled egg and place it in food colorin'. Remove the egg, let the egg dry, then remove the bands and you got some cool white lines around your egg. Now isn't that fun?!
3. A friend told me this one... thether stemware and other delicate, wobbly items to the rack of your dishwasher so they won't get cracked. I didn't know about this idea, 'cause the only dishwasher I have, is Me!
4. Here's a neat one, use several big multicolored rubber bands to wrap a present. This is great when you don't have any scotch tape, and it's different too... when have you seen a present wrapped with rubberbands... uh-huh, me neither. Now if you was to wrap the present with newspaper and rubber bands, then people would think you're "Green", and remember how I told you that in this day & time, being "Green" means people think you're real smart when you might not be.
5. We've all heard of this one, but I could never do it, cause it's just tortureous! If you're a smoker, wear a band around your wrist and ever time you crave a smoke snap yourself with the rubber band. Ouch! That's just mean. That would be like when I was a kid, and we'd run outta the house lettin' the back door slam, we'd get our hair yanked for it! The door would slam, and we'd stop dead in our tracks, and here would come Mom out on the porch to give our hair a tug. I'm not a big fan of pain bein' used to learn stuff. It didn't make me learn nothin', it just pissed me off.
Okay, those are the ideas for using rubber bands that I found,
now you send in your ideas and comments.
No matter how lame your idea might be,
I respect all comers.
Now think... what would you do with a rubber band? Hmmm?

Sunday, September 27, 2009


Now I'm not gonna tell ya that money can't buy happiness, but I will tell ya that you can be just as happy with a lot less than ya have? Huh? Let me explain...

Step 1: Assume that your life is as good as it's ever gonna get.
Assume you'll never be richer, and you'll be a bunch closer to bein' content with what ya have, 'specially if you're not wishin' and hopin' and prayin' to get more.

Step 2: Know the truth.
Don't assume that more money would make you happier. As long as the bills are gettin' paid, there's not much difference on the happiness scale between the rich and the rest of us. Think about it.

Step 3: Make frugality fun.
In other words... Think Cheap! Figurin' out ways to save money can be as satisfyin' as spendin' it.

Step 4: Play The Glad Game
Think happy thoughts. People who thought about positive events in their lives for 8 minutes per day for 3 days felt better about their lives a month later, according to a study. And no, I don't know what study it was or who did the study or why 8 minutes and not 10... just do it!

Step 5: Focus on Doin'instead of Spendin'.
Focus on things you can DO instead of things you can BUY. Experiences bring more pleasure than possessions, and the good feelings last longer, accordin' to research... again, I don't know what research, just do it. It just seems more believable if you think someone has done research, don't it? Go for a walk, go swing on the playground, work in your garden, play with your hamster, etc.

Step 6: GO GREEN.
Ever time you refrain from buyin' somethin' that you don't need, make do with what you've got, or purchase somethin' used, think of the good you're doin' the planet. And besides, bein' Green in this day and time is very popular, and it makes people think you're smarter than you really are, trust me on this.

A wise person once said... "Embrace the sentiment that true happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you've got." And no it weren't me that said it, but it coulda been.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Thursday, September 3, 2009

How to Clean Your Pipes

Have ya seen Jamie Lee Curtis in that commercial that they show over and over again? You know the one where the one lady is tryin' to coax another lady into goin' swimmin'? And the first lady squinches up her face like she's smells somethin' unpleasant and starts rubbin' her tummy and says she can't go swimmin', with bowlegged women, no no sorry... she can't go swimmin' cause she's a bit irregular. You know that commercial of which I'm speakin'?
Well, I was a bit puzzled 'bout what they meant by irregular and all the talk about "Irregular Bowel Syndrome" (IBS as it's often referred to). Anything that ends in syndrome sounds serious to me, you too? What they're advertisin' is a product called "Activia", and you really can't just say the word, ya have to sorta sing it like they do on the TV... you know, Ac-tiv-ee-ah! I went and bought some of the stuff Monday, the strawberry flavored kind... it's a strawberry yogurt is what it is. Honestly I didn't know what they were talkin' about when they were talkin' about IBS. Well, let me tell you somethin'... I now have a pretty darn good idea of what it means now!

It tasted like any of them little yogurt cups, strawberry-like and yogurty, but what happens afterwards... well, just refer to the title of this blog. Bet you thought I was gonna help ya with your household plumbing, huh?
It works... trust me. It's a good thing I live alone.

Monday, August 31, 2009

Odean, Peek & Boo

Today, marks the 7 year anniversary since my Odean has left this world. He's probably sitting on the front porch of Heaven right this minute and whittlin' somethin' for the angels, maybe a sweet soundin' flute that they can play and make beautiful music with. More likely though, he's out back pitchin' horseshoes with his twin brothers Peek and Boo.

Can't say I'm all that sad on this memorable day, cause my Odean left me with so many reminders of himself, it's like he never left, really. What I mean by reminders is... he taught me ever thing I know, from makin' turkey jerkey to knittin' booties. If it weren't for Odean, I'd just be another dunderheaded old woman, who couldn't do nothin'! But nope, after my man passed, I decided to help his legacy to live on. I decided to show people all over the world the things that they can do all by themselves.

You've read some of the things I can do in my bloggin' here, things that I taught you and now you can teach yourns. Okay, I must admit, that's makin' me a little bit teary eyed knowin' that I can be of help to you... makes me feel important and useful.

Alright, enough of that mauldin' stuff, now let's get down to business. I got a project for you to work on. Did you know that you can make your own placemats? I know, I know, it sounds undoable, but you can, it's a breeze. Now listenin'... gather up your greeting cards that people have sent you through the years, pick out the purdiest ones, cut the front pictures from them, and paste 'em to a piece of poster board. After you've covered the poster board, take some of that blue painters tape that everbody's usin', and make outlines around each picture with the tape. Then, get yourself a permanent marker and write your name on the mat. Or you can make a big blob of placemats and give 'em to your cousins and nieces and nephews for Christmas, and write their names on 'em.

Now I know it's just September, but if you get to workin' on the mats now, you won't be all rushed to finish them come Christmas time. And like Odean always told me, "Get goin' on it now Ida, ya know how you get all loopy when you start sniffin' them markers!" That man was always lookin' out for me. Ever time I sniff a permanent marker I think of my Odean... and sometimes I can see little pink elephants a circlin' my head while they're dancin'... I also might see Peek & Boo a pitchin' horseshoes, they didn't know much how to do anything else.

If you have an idea for a homemade Christmas gift,

just blog it to me.

Odean would be proud of ya.

Monday, August 24, 2009

How to Throw a Great Party!

I know many of you suffer with throwin' fun Birthday parties, so I'm here to tell ya how it's done the fun way, because, like they all say... Ida knows stuff... that's me, I'm Ida.

First off, tell your friends and family that you're going to meet at a restaurant where no one has ever been before - find a new place. Tell 'em a time, say... 5:00 pm, and of course tell 'em where the restaurant is, that's just bein' helpful, nobody will want to drive all over town trying to guess where it's being held. A Chinese Buffet is a very cool place to dine if you have a big bunch of people, say 15 of 'em. The staff at the restaurant will probably sit y'all as close together as possible. Then everybody goes off and gets whatever food they want, and they eat until they can't eat any more, and then they complain about how much they et... that's always a fun part of a party.

A Chinese buffet is a good choice cause it's a relaxed atmosphere, people are millin' around ever where and you can go and talk to your friends/family anytime you want, and you can all change seats if you want to, it's a real blast! Somethin' I like to do is to walk over to one of the tables and pretend that I'm the manager and ask 'em how their food was and are they havin' a good time. Oh, and it's a real hoot if you tell that group, that someone has taken care of their tab. When this group starts to walk out the door without payin', just stand back and enjoy the fun!

After eating a delicious meal and having great supper conversation, ask everbody to your home for lemon cake with white "whipped icing" -- make 3 layers, not your usual 2. Sprinkle yellow sugar crystals on top and stick tall "sparkle" candles in the cake... it will look very dramatic, everybody will love it! One person, maybe a very sweet niece (one of your favorites, possibly), will tell ya that it was the best cake she has ever eaten and that lemon cake is her favorite. Trust me, it could happen... you never know, but I do... member... Ida knows stuff.

Now after supper and after cake, all the older people will sit around the room a moanin' and complainin' about how much they et, and also where they hurt... you know how old people can be. The rest of the group will huddle up with the little ones to play really fun party games like "Colored Eggs" and "Duck, Duck, Goose". It will be hilarious!! Of course, fun proof the room, that's very important, you don't want your good stuff broken. Oh, and there could possibly be an adorable little blonde headed boy at your party, we'll call 'im say, J Bear, and he'll be saying silly things out loud that will make everybody laugh real hard and make his parents turn all shades of red, like... "You eat poopoo." or "You're a poopoo face." Everyone will be rollin' with laughter, well everyone 'cept the couple that left early because 7:00pm is past their bedtime, and they can't be out after dark, so they're missin' all the fun.

Now you trust me on this, it will be the funnest party ever! And all you have to do is to bake the best tasting cake that your beautiful niece has ever eaten.
Do all this, and your Birthday Party cannot fail, trust me... I know stuff.
Now tell me about the funest Birthday Party you've ever been too.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Sometimes Readin' TV Is Better Than Hearin' It

Oh good lord, what a time I've been havin'! My computer's been on the fritz since we had that terrible thunderstorm on July 23rd! It's workin' now, but I missed it so very much.
And believe it or don't, the sound is not happenin' on my TV! If you think readin' a book makes you sleepy, try spendin' your time watchin' "Sex and the City" reruns on TV with no sound, while readin' the words on the screen, and your eyes are a dartin' up and down and back and forth tryin' to see all the purdy clothes and the people.

I've dropped off to sleep many a time tryin' to keep up with episodes of "This Old House". I just love that Richard Trethewey, he can replace my tallet's O ring any day he wants to. Well, I can definitely do it myself, but if the big lug wants to do it for me, that's okz with me. Oh for heaven's sake! No I'm not metaforin' for anything but plumbing fixin's. Good lord, what kind of a lady do you take me for?! Now get your mind outta the gutter or wherever you keep it... you kiss your Momma with that mouth?!

The only thing, and I repeat, the only thing that is better off readin' off the TV is the Rachel Ray show. It's still not easy watchin' her flap her arms, but at least ya don't have to listen to her. She has a new program out now - unbelievable, huh?! - Rachel Ray in a new program?! I know, I know, I was just as shocked as you!! It's called "Travelin' With Rachel Ray"... pretty soon we'll be bathin' with her for heavens sake!! On this Travelin' show, she's got her husband with her and they're sittin' in a restaurant in San Antonio, Texas, and she is talkin' and talkin' and flappin' them arms all over the place, and that sweet, quiet husband of hers is just sittin' there a smilin', and ever once in awhile she'll let him say something like, "That's right." Poor fella, he don't know what he's gotten himself into. That Miss Ray is one of the most driven people I have ever seen in my life. I bet she don't even lay down when she sleeps... just hovers over her bed a babblin' like a brook.
And have you been watchin' "Big Brother"?! Oh come on, I know you have too, admit it. That Chima Simone has gotten herself kicked off the program! When I heard about it, I jumped for joyiousness! I'm tellin' ya, if a person can't behave themselves and wants to act all poopy and misbehavein', then they should be yanked off of the TV. It's high time too... I tell ya what, she was given me the fits. They kicked her butt off the show! Yippee Whoha! That there made my day! You go Big Brother!! I was so sick of her talkin' smack all the time and gettin' on people's bad sides - good riddance to bad rubbage, I always say.
Thank the lord, the cable man is coming out tomorrow to repair the no verbage problem on my TV. It will be nice to hear my TV again, maybe I'll be nappin' a little bit less by not readin' it anymore. You would not believe the number of naps I took in one day!
Oh, here's a question I wish someone could answer for me... Where did the saying "on the fritz" come from? Anybody?

Thursday, August 6, 2009

I do NOT do gray.

I apologize to my 4 faithful Rooftopper readers for not bein' around for a bit. My computer has been on the fritz, and boy are my arms tired!

How 'bout that Bachelorette! What did you think about it? I do believe that whatshishead was a bad choice. All the bachelorette girl had to do was to look at the guy's dad, and that shoulda answered if he was the one for her, lordy! It just goes to show ya that people are stupid all over.

There was a comment on my last blog from a Bradley Smeltz, and I've gotta tell ya son, first and foremost, do not, I must repeat it, do NOT, ever eat anything gray! Gray is not a good food color. Oysters, mushrooms, hunks in the freezer, etc. Gray food is rubbery, slimmy and boogery, and should be fed to cats, and only cats.

I hate to admit it, but that Al boy was correct... some kinda casserole would be the perfect recipe for those items that Smeltz mentioned. Let's get started shall we?

Saute the onions and the celery in a 1/4 cup a lard, chop them hot dog buns up into tiny pieces, add them to the onions and celery, cook all until they're transparent. Oh my! Can you smell that smell! As Rachel would say Mm-Mm-Mm-Mm-Mm, has a nutty kind of a smell, don't it?

In my opinion, everything has a nutty kind of smell to Rachel. Let me tell you somethin' sweetheart, if it ain't got nuts in it, then it don't smell like nuts! And what a mouth that girl has got on her.

"Rachel, darlin', could ya shut up for just once? Ya don't hafta fill every danged second of time with your stupid chatter! So you invented the garbage bowl, big deal! That don't make you no expert! Garbage bowl my aunt's patootie... it's called a garbage CAN! They've been usin' 'em for years! Get yourself one, walk over to it and throw your nutty smelling cookin' away... holy christmas, are ya that lazy?!

Now where was I? Oh yes, put the mixture in a casserole dish, place a big chunk of Velveeta on top and bake that sucker for 35 minutes in a 400 degree oven, or until the cheese all melts. Now don't tell me you ain't got no Velveeta in your cupboard, everybody has Velveeta at home somewhere.

Now Bradley, for dessert, whip the box of lemon jello together with the peanut butter, until fluffy. Fill cupcake tins with 2 Tbs each of the mixture (it makes 24). Place slices of Velveeta on top of each, and bake 35 minutes in a 400 degree oven, or until the cheese all melts.

And that hunka gray stuff in the freezer... feed it to the cat.

Bradly son, or any of my other readers, iffin' ya got questions about how to do anything, anything at all, you send them cards & letters and emails in to Rooftop and Ida will do her dangedest to help out, KZ?

Monday, July 20, 2009


Howdy Rooftoppers!

I read up on that Hints from Heloise lady and did you know that sometimes, well most a the time, people send in stuff for her column? It's true! So I thought I'd do a little bit a Heloisein' myself and post somethin' from my favorite follower and yurs, that little gal with the pink legs http://sarcasticgranny.blogspot.com/

1. Aspire to be Barbie - the witch has everything.
2. Take life with a pinch of salt..... a wedge of lime and a shot of tequila.
3. Go on the 30 day diet. I'm on it, and so far I've lost 15 days.
4. When life gets you down, just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
5. I know I'm in my own little world, but it's okay, they know me here.
6. Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.
7. Don't get your knickers in a knot. It solves nothing and makes you walk funny.
8. If it has tires or testicles, it's going to give you trouble.
9. By the time a woman realizes that her Mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks she's wrong.
10. And my personal favorite --> Remember, wherever there is a good looking, sweet, single or married man, there is some woman tired of his bullcrap.

Oh heck, she still looks great at 60... Pa-shaw!

Y'all come back and see Ida... OKZ!

Thursday, July 16, 2009


Thursday, July 16, 2009

Howdy Rooftoppers! Don't ja just love being called a ROOFTOPPER? There's just something real enjoyable about it, ya feel a part of somethin', don't ja? I can see ya sittin' up there on the house with Mark & Al... you're lookin' good up there, real good! People got their WeddingCakeToppers and their PizzaToppers and MountainToppers, and now there's ROOFTOPPERS, and that's the best kind of TOPPER to be, don't ja think?

Well, reckon that's enuff about the tops of thangs. I gotta get right down to beness now and let you in on an Idea From Ida... that's Me! I'm Ida.

Alright now, hold onto yourselves. Are you holdin'? Okay... Do you cook your own rice? I said, do you cook your own rice?! Well I do, none a that boxed stuff fur me, and I don't own one of those fancy fandangled rice makin' machines neither... don't need anything like that. Ya don't! Now just listen up to how you make the best rice you can make.

Ya get yourself a pot (that's a cookin' pot, ya idiot!), add to that pot (iffin' one more of ya makes me clarify that it's a cookin' pot again, pots are gonna be flyin'!), ight? Continuing... 1 cup a short grain rice, 1-1/2 cups a water, salt to taste, and a tablespoon of vinegar. Yelp, I said vinegar. Why? Well because a little vinegar in your rice will make your rice prettier for one thang and real white lookin', AND when the lids on your pota rice and it's a cookin', the vinegar keeps it all from boilin' over. It's like a cookin' miracle! I promise you, put a bit a vinegar in yer rice and it will NOT boil over on ya, it won't!

Bring the rice to a boil, put it on simmer for 30 minutes. Do NOT... I repeat... DO NOT open the lid! After 30 minutes, leave yer rice be with the lid still on it fur another 5 minutes. THEN take the lid off and fluff it with a fork... the rice... fluff the RICE with a fork, ya dunderhead, not the lid.

Now that is some beautiful rice you'll have there. A course don't furget to make some mouth waterin' gravy to go on that rice or maybe some hot as fire chili. Mmmmmmm, good eatin', goooooood eatin'! I'm warn out now, ya wear me out. Y'all go and make a batch of it and let me know how yer rice cooked up, OKZ. I'm off to bed.

AND, don't furget to enter that contest that Al's got goin'. You could win a ROOFTOPPERS mug!! I entered the contest and I think I got the right answer. I'm real smart with contests. Oh, and yer gonna love readin' Mark's heartwarmin' article 'bout his sweet nephews. I cried. I did.

Y'all come back and see Ida, KZ?

Monday, July 13, 2009

Here's an Idea

Yee-ha!! Would you Hayter Brothers lookie over there to your left! I've got 2 Followers! Now I hadn't seen 'em followin' me, but it says that they do. Anywho, they just happen to be two of my favor-right people - Cora Beth (also known as CB) & Will. By the way Will, you look much better in your picture now, you musta shaved your body and gotten that tooth removed, wow what an improvement.

Well people, I'm Ida the idea lady, and I'm gonna be comin' up with some outta this world ideas for you Rooftopers...... Oh, for heaven sakes, did you catch that?! I just come up with a brillant idea..... callin' the people who come here to the Rooftop, Rooftoppers! Ideas come springin' to my head like that all day long, and iffin' I don't write 'em down right then and there, they just spring away!

What do you Hayter boys think of that? Rooftoppers! It's brilliant, purdee genius, am I right? Huh? Well sure I am. And to think you boys are gettin' me for nothin'!

Oh, and here's another idea I come up with this mornin'..... I was fixin' to eat breakfast - a banana, yogurt and O juice, and didn't have much time to eat cause I was in a big hurry. Well, all of a sudden I get this here idea to put that banana, O juice and yogurt all together in the blender and swish it all together, and ladeeda it made this like fruity drink thing, mmmmm! Have you ever?!!! Well a course you haven't. You know, there's very few people who can come up with real smart ideas like that..... I just happened to be one of those few.

Now you be sure and save all this genius stuff, so you can share it all with your friends. And while you're with your friends, tell 'em to come on and mowzee over to the Rooftop, Mark's roof can hold way more people!

Now, tomorrow, all you ROOFTOPPERS fix yourselves a FRUITY DRINK, then I'm sure y'all WILL have a great day talkin' on your CB's! I think I just peed myself laughin'!!!