Oh good lord, what a time I've been havin'! My computer's been on the fritz since we had that terrible thunderstorm on July 23rd! It's workin' now, but I missed it so very much.
And believe it or don't, the sound is not happenin' on my TV! If you think readin' a book makes you sleepy, try spendin' your time watchin' "Sex and the City" reruns on TV with no sound, while readin' the words on the screen, and your eyes are a dartin' up and down and back and forth tryin' to see all the purdy clothes and the people.
I've dropped off to sleep many a time tryin' to keep up with episodes of "This Old House". I just love that Richard Trethewey, he can replace my tallet's O ring any day he wants to. Well, I can definitely do it myself, but if the big lug wants to do it for me, that's okz with me. Oh for heaven's sake! No I'm not metaforin' for anything but plumbing fixin's. Good lord, what kind of a lady do you take me for?! Now get your mind outta the gutter or wherever you keep it... you kiss your Momma with that mouth?!
The only thing, and I repeat, the only thing that is better off readin' off the TV is the Rachel Ray show. It's still not easy watchin' her flap her arms, but at least ya don't have to listen to her. She has a new program out now - unbelievable, huh?! - Rachel Ray in a new program?! I know, I know, I was just as shocked as you!! It's called "Travelin' With Rachel Ray"... pretty soon we'll be bathin' with her for heavens sake!! On this Travelin' show, she's got her husband with her and they're sittin' in a restaurant in San Antonio, Texas, and she is talkin' and talkin' and flappin' them arms all over the place, and that sweet, quiet husband of hers is just sittin' there a smilin', and ever once in awhile she'll let him say something like, "That's right." Poor fella, he don't know what he's gotten himself into. That Miss Ray is one of the most driven people I have ever seen in my life. I bet she don't even lay down when she sleeps... just hovers over her bed a babblin' like a brook.
And have you been watchin' "Big Brother"?! Oh come on, I know you have too, admit it. That Chima Simone has gotten herself kicked off the program! When I heard about it, I jumped for joyiousness! I'm tellin' ya, if a person can't behave themselves and wants to act all poopy and misbehavein', then they should be yanked off of the TV. It's high time too... I tell ya what, she was given me the fits. They kicked her butt off the show! Yippee Whoha! That there made my day! You go Big Brother!! I was so sick of her talkin' smack all the time and gettin' on people's bad sides - good riddance to bad rubbage, I always say.
Thank the lord, the cable man is coming out tomorrow to repair the no verbage problem on my TV. It will be nice to hear my TV again, maybe I'll be nappin' a little bit less by not readin' it anymore. You would not believe the number of naps I took in one day!
Oh, here's a question I wish someone could answer for me... Where did the saying "on the fritz" come from? Anybody?