WORDS FOR WOMEN TO LIVE BY

Howdy Rooftoppers!

I read up on that Hints from Heloise lady and did you know that sometimes, well most a the time, people send in stuff for her column? It's true! So I thought I'd do a little bit a Heloisein' myself and post somethin' from my favorite follower and yurs, that little gal with the pink legs http://sarcasticgranny.blogspot.com/

WORDS FOR WOMEN TO LIVE BY
1. Aspire to be Barbie - the witch has everything.
2. Take life with a pinch of salt..... a wedge of lime and a shot of tequila.
3. Go on the 30 day diet. I'm on it, and so far I've lost 15 days.
4. When life gets you down, just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
5. I know I'm in my own little world, but it's okay, they know me here.
6. Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.
7. Don't get your knickers in a knot. It solves nothing and makes you walk funny.
8. If it has tires or testicles, it's going to give you trouble.
9. By the time a woman realizes that her Mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks she's wrong.
10. And my personal favorite --> Remember, wherever there is a good looking, sweet, single or married man, there is some woman tired of his bullcrap.

Oh heck, she still looks great at 60... Pa-shaw!

Y'all come back and see Ida... OKZ!

________________________________________________________

MORE IDEAS

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Howdy Rooftoppers! Don't ja just love being called a ROOFTOPPER? There's just something real enjoyable about it, ya feel a part of somethin', don't ja? I can see ya sittin' up there on the house with Mark & Al... you're lookin' good up there, real good! People got their WeddingCakeToppers and their PizzaToppers and MountainToppers, and now there's ROOFTOPPERS, and that's the best kind of TOPPER to be, don't ja think?

Well, reckon that's enuff about the tops of thangs. I gotta get right down to beness now and let you in on an Idea From Ida... that's Me! I'm Ida.

Alright now, hold onto yourselves. Are you holdin'? Okay... Do you cook your own rice? I said, do you cook your own rice?! Well I do, none a that boxed stuff fur me, and I don't own one of those fancy fandangled rice makin' machines neither... don't need anything like that. Ya don't! Now just listen up to how you make the best rice you can make.

Ya get yourself a pot (that's a cookin' pot, ya idiot!), add to that pot (iffin' one more of ya makes me clarify that it's a cookin' pot again, pots are gonna be flyin'!), ight? Continuing... 1 cup a short grain rice, 1-1/2 cups a water, salt to taste, and a tablespoon of vinegar. Yelp, I said vinegar. Why? Well because a little vinegar in your rice will make your rice prettier for one thang and real white lookin', AND when the lids on your pota rice and it's a cookin', the vinegar keeps it all from boilin' over. It's like a cookin' miracle! I promise you, put a bit a vinegar in yer rice and it will NOT boil over on ya, it won't!

Bring the rice to a boil, put it on simmer for 30 minutes. Do NOT... I repeat... DO NOT open the lid! After 30 minutes, leave yer rice be with the lid still on it fur another 5 minutes. THEN take the lid off and fluff it with a fork... the rice... fluff the RICE with a fork, ya dunderhead, not the lid.

Now that is some beautiful rice you'll have there. A course don't furget to make some mouth waterin' gravy to go on that rice or maybe some hot as fire chili. Mmmmmmm, good eatin', goooooood eatin'! I'm warn out now, ya wear me out. Y'all go and make a batch of it and let me know how yer rice cooked up, OKZ. I'm off to bed.

AND, don't furget to enter that contest that Al's got goin'. You could win a ROOFTOPPERS mug!! I entered the contest and I think I got the right answer. I'm real smart with contests. Oh, and yer gonna love readin' Mark's heartwarmin' article 'bout his sweet nephews. I cried. I did.

Y'all come back and see Ida, KZ?